Beverly Hills Terestrial

Squirrel: dood guy just saw Beverly Hills Chihuahua and said it was awesome, you should totally check it out this weekend
Rabbit: Killer
Rabbit: Although I thought he was a cat guy
Squirrel: oh, sorry guess you hadn't heard, the dogs are only characters, it is done by cat actors
Rabbit: Oh, just like Shakespeare
Squirrel: yeah, but on a much more intellectual level, it's like if ET were real, which he IS but that's a completely different story
Rabbit: Like if ET were real, but Drew Barrymore was a cat, got it
Squirrel: EXACTLY!

Nuts!

“God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them”

Franz Kafka quotes (German Writer of visionary fiction, 1883-1924)

People of Merica it is time we finally take a stand and get this whole nut insanity (NO PUN INTENDED) straightened out. I have been very intensely conducting a VERY loose survey regarding how the various types of nuts stack up against one another.

Well this is it, this is your chance to come in and defend your favorite nut while for the love of GAWD hopefully insulting your least favorite. Below you will find my ranking. Just because I don't mention your favorite here doesn't mean you shouldn't so take up arms and let's get to business!

One rule I am laying down is, I don't want to hear anything about "well this nut sux because I have to get the shell off, and sniffle sniffle sniffle. I don't care about the shell, all nuts can pretty much be purchase shelled. If you can't afford such shelled nuts, then what are you doing on the Internet!? Oh, and don't even start with, "well in a mixture of nuts this one is good, blahdy blahdy blahh". This is a nut on its own with no others to prop it up.

1. Almonds: Yes top spot for the following reasons; Love the texture, has a nice refreshing taste that isn't overly oily and can take on virtually any flavor and pulls it off with flying colors. A festival for the mouth. Huzzah! Huzzah! Oh and lastly, can anyone say Marzipan!!!!!

2. Hazelnuts: Very good, robust flavor, lots of applications. Comes in and takes desserts to the next level. THE NEXT LEVEL PEOPLE! Really popular in Germany and that makes me happy.

3. Macadamia Nuts: Wow, if you haven't been to Hawaii you have no idea how a nut can define a tropical destination. While being great plain or, my all time favorite, toffee covered the macadamia nut really stands on its own. The macadamia also traverses with ease the various sorts of chocolate out there. It works super nicely when "encrusting" meats such as fish or chicken as well. The least healthy nut BY FAR so watch out.

4. Peanuts: Okay, not too huge of a fan here but I gots to pay my respects to this one, I mean peanut butter, Thai peanut sauces (please go out right now and get some green beans and dip them in this, you will not regret it I promise you). Cookies, getting gum out of your hair, you name it the peanut is probably like 3 degrees of Kevin Bacon away from solving the task at hand. Often imitated, never duplicated (ya hear me cashew, you coward).

5. Walnut/Pecan: So, before anyone rakes me over the hot coals of shiva on this one. You do have to admit they are similar. I find the very thin skin on these nuts bitter so their use to me is limited. I love walnut in cookies and pecan pie ain't bad at all. Sorry guys you have much to compete with, nobody said it would be easy to be the best nut and neither of you are.

6. Brazil nut: Um wuh? Uh okay, a weird one but not the worst, I've had like 5 of these in my life so you know, whatever.

7. Cashews: Don't let the cashew fool you. It is a peanut impostor! It's like "hey, eat me, I'm like a big curvy peanut that is slightly creamier". Cashew, if I could end your existence I soooo would, you lackluster imitator.

Fin!

Quantum Leap

Squirrel: are you going to the quantum leap convention?

Rabbit: oh please tell me you are serious

Squirrel: yeah, price of admission, a dead scott bakula dolly

Rabbit: hahaha

Squirrel: dressed in renaissance garb of course

Rabbit: yayyy

well it just so happens I was making one for my OWN uses

Squirrel: oh

my

GAWWWWD

Rabbit: thank god he is ok though

Squirrel: seriously! Who would save us from the troubles happening in the future-past

Le MegaMixe

Many times I have been approached about the music I listen to. Okay, that's a small lie. The truth is many times I have run into people and have wanted (and in some cases needed) to expose them to the wonder that I call... "The music I listen to".

I have decided to embark upon the impossible. I shall go through my entire music library and hand pick the best of the best. I have a mere 11,000 tracks to go through so it shouldn't be too bad. All; my request of you is to provide any input you have on this task of tasks.

So far I have broken it out into 6 distinct areas. Please suggest any if I have forgotten. Also feel free to suggest if I am way off track in putting these artists where they are. Lucky posters will get a free copy of these discs when done. I anticipate doing only data discs this time so I can incorporate the maximum amount of music.

Alternative (Radiohead, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Gorillaz, Weezer, etc...)
Chill (Massive Attach, Portishead, Tricky, Thievery Corporation, etc...)
Classics (Depeche Mode, New Order, Bjork, etc...)
DJ/Club (Oakenfold, Tiga, Stardust, etc...)
Hard/Industrial (NIN, Front 242, 16 Volt)
New/Eclectic (Figurine, Peter Bjorn and John, Royksopp, etc...)

Any input on categories or tracks that you feel are musts for this please let me know. Until then I will be glued to iTunes. All input is "warmly" received.

TST

The Bee Gees saved my dog

The question of the day is: Should one sing in a faux BeeGees voice to their pet? If you answered no to this question then may god have mercy on your soul.

Pants for a Bog?

Gentlemen!

I say, Gentlemen!

Look!

Look down at your pants!

Would you describe the color as cranberry or anything of the sort?!

If you answered yes, you are wrong. Take those pants and nooooo, do not donate them, needy people need not look so tasteless. Take those pants and take the cursed chicken bones you bought from that lady in Jamaica and set them both on fire! Do it! Do it NOW! It is the only way you will escape my wrath!

S

To use or not to use, that is the... oh forget about it!

Lately I have seem to be ending up in meetings where at the end of a PowerPoint presentation the presenter uses a famous quote. Recently this came in the form of an anonymous quote from the underground railroad. The meeting was about, telecommuting... The quote underground railroad, the meeting TELECOMMUTING.

Okay so in case this is not screaming out at you, why on Earth am I supposed to connect the two of these. Don't get me wrong, I am all for using knowledge gained in one area and applying it to another but this has gone to far. Please sound off if you agree. If you don't, please include your address so I can sneak into your house, enslave you, write down something profound that someone said who is trying to free you and then give that quote to a person to use in a presentation about the office coffee!